Having a baby turns your world upside down. Suddenly, you have a human being to love, care for, and coo over. Your life pre-birth can feel like a distant fairy tale full of coffee dates, shopping trips, and cocktails. But having a baby doesn’t mean you have to say goodbye to your life entirely. It’s possible to still have a social life after having a baby. We’re sharing our advice for new parents hoping to maintain friendships, stay social, and care for themselves.
Lifestyle changes when having a child
Friday night cocktails and impromptu girls’ weekends might not be viable after you have a baby, but there are new ways to preserve your social life. The key to continuing a social life post-birth is to consider the ways your lifestyle has changed. It’s undeniable that having a newborn is one of the biggest changes you’ll ever encounter. But what exactly will change in your day-to-day life when you’ve got a baby to think of?
Firstly, your baby needs constant care. And as their primary caregiver, you’re the one that needs to ensure someone is always watching and looking after your newborn. Unfortunately, your little one can’t change their diaper, wash, and feed independently just yet! Unless someone is looking after your baby, you’re always going to have them by your side.
Constantly caring for a baby is tiresome work, especially if yours isn’t sleeping through the night (which unfortunately won’t happen during the newborn stage). You’re going to be sleep-deprived, potentially groggy, and unlikely to want to entertain or socialize for long periods.
Needing to feed and pump often will also hinder your social plans. You’ll want to ensure you’re somewhere you’re comfortable feeding or pumping for your newborn— probably not what you want to be doing on Friday night on the dance floor!
Not only are there logistic issues, but there are personal hurdles too. You might not feel ready or want to spend extended periods of life away from your new baby. It might feel like the social life you used to have doesn’t suit you, b. But that doesn’t mean you want to wave goodbye to your friends.
Can you still have a life after having a baby?
It’s entirely possible to still have a social life after having a baby. But it’s up to you to decide how you want your social interactions to be. Lifestyle changes might mean your previous social life isn’t possible or desirable. Take some time considering how you’d like to socialize in this new stage of life and vocalize this to your friends and family.
Rather than energetic weekends, you might choose to have a quick coffee catch up with your best friend. Instead of going out, you might prefer friends to come to you and your partner.
Your loved ones will be excited to see you and accepting of the recent changes in your life. Don’t be afraid to tell them you’d rather spend an hour with them to get back to your baby rather than the day-long outings you enjoyed previously.
Maintaining friendships after having a baby
Whether romantic or platonic, all relationships require commitment and a willingness to let people in. Going from seeing your friends regularly to not being able to make plans because of newborn life might feel like you’re failing your relationships. However, as long as you’re communicative and proactive, there’s no reason your relationships can’t adapt to your new lifestyle.
For friendships, try sending a text or voice note when you get a moment. Ask how your friends are and keep them updated on how you’ve been. Your friends will appreciate the effort. If you feel ready, you can plan a short activity such as a walk or coffee. You can bring your newborn and enjoy time with your friend at the same time.
The New Baby N You team have a blog post on tending to your romantic partnerships post-birth which you can read here.
Taking your newborn to social events
Bringing your newborn along can make maintaining a social life after having a childbirth easier. It’s evident that having a baby changes your life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t continue doing the things you love. Your friends are probably super excited to meet your newborn, and it’s likely they’ve already asked to be introduced. Casual walks, dinners, and coffee shop outings are perfect opportunities for you to get out of the house, socialize, and still spend time with your baby.
Having a baby changes your life in numerous ways, but it’s still possible to have an enjoyable, beneficial and meaningful social life. Although it might take time to adjust, you and your friends will soon find a rhythm having a new addition to the group or changing your activities to suit your current lifestyle.
